Cafe Anime
by pikatif
Summary: A selection of anime characters visit my café... Hmm, this isn't going to end well. (First publish)
**_Café Anime_**

 **A/N Go easy on me! First publish!  
All the anime characters I know visit a café in the area… This looks, uh, interesting.**  
 **Contains: VOCALOID, Okami, Assassination Classroom, Mirai Nikki, Fullmetal Alchemist, Fairy Tail, Tokyo Ghoul, Kagerou Project, Madoka Magica, Soul Eater, Black Rock * Shooter, Noragami, Studio Ghibli, Wolf Children, Pokémon, Attack on Titan, Sword Art Online, Bleach (tho some of them only have a few lines…)**

1\. OMG MIKU'S IN MY CAFÉ!

2\. Ammy, you literally howled, like, twice in the games tho there was, like, fifty boss fights

3\. Maka. You should know Soul isn't the type to be angelic. AND UR LOSING COS OF IT.

4\. Ahh, least you took out that freaky guy in the end… wth was with the 'Noah-sama's?

5\. JUVIA. GRAY IS NOT A CUDDLY TOY.

6\. Ahem. Natsu, you're touching Lucy's… *gulp*

7\. NO, MIKU. THE WORLD IS NOT YOURS. (It's mine XD)

8\. In Toumei Answer tho…. Aya-NO! I feel sorry for Shintaro…

9\. AME. WHO CARES IF YUKI WANTS TO BE A HUMAN AND U DON'T. Siblings don't get along – fact.

10\. Guys, u know Erza's sharpening her swords…

11\. EEP SO IS MIKASA!

12\. Kid, stop trying to make everything symmetrical. It gets annoying, like, srsly.

13\. Ed. _**WHY AREN'T U DRINKING UR MILK?**_ DO U NOT LIKE THIS CAFÉ'S MILK?

14\. Miku, Luka, honestly, I think everyone prefers the non-yuri Kagamine cover of magnet.

15\. RIN, LEN, DID U SRSLY HAVE TO START SINGING _AND_ _ACTING_ IT NOW?!(omg they're gonna kiss~)

16\. Madoka. Make up ur bloody mind, do ya wanna be a Magical Girl or not? Kyubey's getting real bored. So am I, for a fact.

17\. NATSU, NO FIGHTING WITH GRAY! OR ED! OR BLACK STAR! OR EREN! OR ANYBODY!

18\. I swear Ene's really a devil…. Wait, she's really Takane, isn't she?

19\. WTH IS WITH BRS' COSTUME?! **WAY** TOO INAPPROPRIATE! Miku, did she learn from u?

20\. Yuki, stop sniffing Amaterasu. She's gonna use her brush on you, ya know? –Told ya.

21\. IA MY LOVE~! And, no, I do not take from Juvia, for a fact.

22\. Pikachu, I know u wanna electrocute everyone, but hang in there for a- *gets fried*

23\. WINRY. ED. AWKARDLY CONFESS YOUR LOVE SOMEWHERE ELSE, PLZ! (that's meant to be at the end of the anime)

24\. Ichigo, just use Bankai, it's getting real old. Like, just do it. STOP HESITATING! UGH, ALL U MAIN CHARACTERS ARE SO "but" AND "if" AND "why" AND "I want my mama"!

25\. Gumi. We know ur weird, u sing all those crazy songs, but did ya have to do _that_?

26\. KANO WTH WAS WITH UR TEXTS?! Lol tho Momo just deleted them…

27\. *glares* Don't u dare mess with Marie, cos I'll kill ya if ya do.

28\. Huh. There are 2 Marie's and 2 Momo's. MEH, IDC!

29\. At the end of the SE manga Marie's pregnant uwu SO STOP BEING SUCH IDIOTS!

30\. Rin, Len, sing Childish War somewhere else – IT'S JUST A GAME, STOP ARGUING!

31\. Rukia, what sort of hero's welcome was that?! U literally scolded him

32\. NUUUUUUUUUU AT THE END OF THE SE MANGA SOMA ISN'T CANON! Although u two should srsly stop looking at each other and blushing, like, u act like a couple anyways.

33\. NO. I WILL HAVE NO MAD PIANO PLAYING, THANKS.

34\. Sayaka, just say u like Kyousuke. Srsly, go show Hitomi up – WTH DOES SHE EVEN KNOW ABOUT HIM?! UR MIRACLE WAS TO HELP HIM, TOO!

35\. Hiyori, are you okay? What did that nasty man do to you? WHY THE HELL DID HE KISS YOU, NE? (Yato will be very angry… *gulp*)

36\. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH IT'S THE BLUE EYES!

37\. NUUUUU! AME! WHY DID U LEAVE? Come back for more tea~!

38\. No, Ed, Gajeel's Dragon Force form is not the same as your automail. (IKR?!)

39\. Gumi, I know u like singing ECHO, but it's making loads of echoes (geddit?)

40\. Oh shit. Natsu, don't start another brawl! AHH! STOP MAKING OTHER ANIME CHARACTERS MAD!

41\. Um, Ed, they didn't say you were shorter than a bean sprout who could ride an atom.

42\. Oh, great! Now you ruined the café by turning Eren into a Titan!

43\. Kaneki, can I have you in the white hair, I prefer badass over wimpy.

44\. Ugh, more digital tea coming up, Miku… (she thinks she owns the place!)

45\. Homura-sama ur so amazing in Rebellion can I just say I'm a big fan and I luv u and I luv ur demon form too and ur so evil and badass as well as being a heroine, BUT OMG I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL THE FOURTH MOVIE COMES OUT! EEEEE!

46\. Omg… Haru likes Baron, doesn't she?! CROSS-SPECIES LOVE! AHH!

47\. WAAHHH! WHY DO U HAVE TO DIE IN THE SADDEST WAYS, LEN!? Here's ur tea.

48\. OMG LOADS OF COUPLES ARE HAVING MOMENTS IN MY CAFÉ! *gets camera out*

49\. Why does Shinigami-sama have to die? WHYYYYYY?! Tho at least Kid becomes a true Shinigami…

50\. Do you want some tea, Touka? –I-I mean, coffee?

51\. Wow. Who cares if I'm not as good at making it as u? –I don't even like it anyways

52\. IA's voice is so amazing… Which is so obviously why she's my fave, plus she has a nice character and is sooo beautiful!

53\. Miku, she didn't say 'Kawaii desu' – Arceus, ur just as bad as Ed!

54\. OMG THE GUY WHO KISSED HIYORI WAS YATO'S DAD! LIKE, EWWW! –I apologise for putting you off your meals, gomenasai… (But it's still so gross *shudders*)

55\. Karma. Rio. Please stop taking pictures of Nagisa in a dress – I DON'T CARE IF IT'S FOR COMIC RELIEF OR WHATEVER! NO CAMERAS, OKAY?! DIDN'T U SEE THE SIGN!?

56\. Hey~! I know how we can get Eren back into his original form! Mikasa, try that lullaby thingie (no, not the black magic from FT) that the Avengers did with the Hulk!

57\. EEP! NO, I _TRULY_ WASN'T TRYING TO SET UP ANOTHER COUPLE!

58\. Kewl, I get to serve dead ppl like Mavis and Sayaka and Yukine ufufufufu

59\. Miku. Why is it that ppl make u do dirty things in ur songs? (Like Romeo and Cinderella, Sweet Devil, Party Junkie, Pomp and Circumstance, Love is War, Cantarella, Cendrillon, iNSaNiTY, Uraomote Lovers, magnet & SPICE! ? Like, just, _eww_ in some of them…)

60\. Like, u have forbidden sex in Romeo & Cinderella as well as magnet and Cendrillon, and u have sex in Party Junky, Sweet Devil, Uraomote Lovers & Cantarella – PLUS CANTARELLA INVOLVES BLOODY DRUGS – and u do dirty stuff in Pomp and Circumstance and SPICE! –Just don't go there, please, plus u lift ur skirt flap in Love is War, like, YANDERE. Oh, and in iNSaNiTY ur tied up.

61\. GAH! ANYTHING BUT THE NEGI!

62\. And in another song they referred to the negi as a, well, banana, if u get it…

63\. I'll shut up now.

64\. Srsly, Bebe? U came back for CHEESE? That's nowhere near as sweet as Sayaka's!

65\. Winry. I know this is anime, but, can we please not have any bloody piles of goo on the floor? –That goes for Kido, Erza, Mikasa, Luka, Ammy, Hiyori, Touka, Maka and Rukia, too.

66\. OMG they're all girls. Ha, in ur face, boys.

67\. Uh, um… EEP I'M SORRY PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! –What did I say about bloody piles of goo?

68\. Rin, ya do know u can speak Chinese in some songs? U don't have to learn with the (very irresponsible) Gumi.

69\. Couples. This is a café, not a night club – NO SHADY BUSINESS.

70\. Luka… what is _wrong_ with u in Blackjack?

71\. Mustang. Natsu. Can we please have no fights over who's the best at fire?-Oh, thanks for cooking the food, though!

72\. Wah~… There's no Magical Girl with ice powers in Madoka Magica… Well, I suppose Sayaka has water and music powers, tho, AND OMG UR SO COOL WITH UR SWORDS!

73\. Uh, anyone know why one side of the room is boiling whilst the other is freezing?

74\. Great. Now Natsu's in yet _another_ fight, with Gray. Lucy, Juvia, can you get them to give up for the sakes of everyone's sanity?

75\. Oh, sorry, Miki, I forgot most anime characters are far from sane, thanks for reminding me by singing iNSaNiTY.

76\. Kirito, why do u have to be so good-looking?! Like, every girl u meet falls in love with u…

77\. GAH! IT'S LIKE WITH LEN!

78\. Issun, I see u there, ya know. Stop peeping at all the impossibly good-looking girls.

79\. Yes, yes, I know that the guys are impossibly good-looking too, I'm a girl, not dumb, Issun. But still, I don't perv on them like u do.

80\. Omg why is it I keep thinking of the robot in LUVORATORRRRRY! Being Len?! I DON'T SHIP LEN X GUMI, FOR ARCEUS' SAKE!

81\. Yes, Arceus is the equivalent to Truth in my crazy world, Ed. Arceus is the god of Pokémon.

82\. OMG IN THE LAST POKEMON MOVIE IT WAS SO COOL COS ARCEUS APPEARED A BIT AT THE VERY END AND MADE IT ALL HAPPPY! Hopefully he appears more in the next one too…

83\. …Why is it the Vocaloid songs where they're insane in some way are the best? Like, iNSaNiTY, Dialing Paranoia, Outer Science, This is the Happiness and Peace of Mind Committee, trick and treat, Matryoshka, Remote Control, Love is War, 2D Dream Fever, Bacterial Contamination, Meltdown, Musunde Hiraite Rasetsu to Mukuro, etc…

84\. –Probably cos it's cool to see Miku as a yandere, Miki and IA as crazy, Rin and Len as evil, etc… Not that ur always like that, of course! Uh… more digital tea?

85\. Yato… I don't think you'll get a proper shrine with all those five yen coins any time soon… Why not just get a proper job or start charging more?

86\. … And thank you for the lecture of righteousness… _not_.

87\. Umm, Class 3-E? Could you please tell your teacher to stop perving… Uh, I guess attempting to kill him is also fine… heh-heh-heh…

88\. Actually, Issun, I take back what I said. I do perv on the hot guys (ufufufu… *v*)

89\. Oops. I accidentally forgot to give Yuno her personal space, sorry, it's my fault there are bloody piles of goo on the floor this time…

90\. KARMA. IF U DON'T BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF ASANO THIS TIME I SWEAR I'LL…

91\. Umm, hold that thought, because I swear this place is turning into a nightclub… Like, WTH, YUNO'S JUST PUSHED YUKI INTO THE CUPBOARD…!

92\. No, Ame, I didn't mean ur sis, I meant the other Yuki – WAIT WHEN DID U GET BACK?!

93\. GAAHHH! WHEN DID THAT STAGE APPEAR?! AND WHY ARE THEY SINGING POMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE?!

94\. Great! Why did my assistant let Kuroha in? Now we have to deal with even more psychos as well as figuring out how to keep him away from Marie, Seto, Shintaro and the others…

95\. …Awkward…

96\. Eep! No, Kaede, I did not just give Karma and IA a discount just because they're my favourite characters! -Totally not… eheheheh…

97\. Issun, you may be small, but I can see you crawling up Ryuko's shirt. (Thanks for the warning, Senketsu!)

98\. Um, sorry, Ghouls, but we don't sell human body parts here… (WHY WOULD WE?!)

99\. Ryuko, I know you don't like being left out of a fight, but I'd advise not to join if you don't want to make a… _scene_ …

100\. THANK THE GODS! (yes, that includes Yato,) They've stopped singing Pomp and Circumstance… Ah, the beautiful sound of Last Night, Good Night…

 **A/N Whew! Finally done! Although, I kinda added some near the end since I wrote this over a period of time so I got into other stuff too… Nyeheheh… Like, I'm currently obsessed with Assassination Classroom, but before I was obsessed with Madoka Magica, then before that was Noragami, but at the start it was FMA… Yeah, I'm not good at sticking to the point… Oh, and if u don't get some of the Vocaloid references, u probably haven't seen those songs (like the one about Chinese was 1, 2 Fanclub) And the first SE one was in the manga when Soul was a deathscythe and learning to fly, but Maka insisted on making the wings look angelic... Yeah, and they fought that weird guy... But, to be honest, I've really enjoyed writing this, so I might make another! Though I've got stuff to do right now, so bye!**

 **Pikatif, out!**


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